The Goddesses are Laughing
by RandomObserver42
Summary: What happens when Link is sent back in time after the events of Ocarina of Time? Supposedly, he'll have a normal childhood. But what happens if he still has the skills, items, and wallet of a full-fledged adult Hero? Hijinks, naturally. Now not just one oneshot, but a collection! TAKING REQUESTS
1. The Goddesses are Laughing

**This is dedicated to HyruleHearts1123, who gave me this idea in the first place.**

**I don't own LoZ. I find this to be somewhat obvious, but it's better just to appease the great Protectors of Copyright.**

* * *

It could have been dumb luck. Or maybe the goddesses were just bored and decided to play a joke on the inhabitants of Hyrule. Impa didn't know or particularly care **how** it had happened as much as the fact that it **had** in the first place.

Despite the logic of the situation, she could remember a future where she had awakened as the Sage of Shadow. A future where a young boy had grown into a young man and saved Hyrule from evil. A young man who had been sent back in time so he could have a childhood and prevent all the death and suffering that Ganondorf had caused. Now a young boy who, somehow, some way, had managed to retain the skills, items, and wallet of an adult Hero.

If it was the goddesses' work, they were indeed laughing. Probably cackling their heads off.

Impa sighed.

She had just finished the last of the paperwork that would take care of Link's latest escapade. How the boy thought that smashing all of the supply pots in the southeastern guardroom was a good idea escaped her.

Still, she felt it was worth it if Zelda got to have a friend her own age.

Slowly, Impa stood up from the desk and stretched. _Time for a well-deserved lunch. I wonder if they're serving fried cuckoo today?_

The goddesses were, indeed, laughing.

Impa walked to the door of her office and opened it. As soon as she did, she heard the yelling coming from the west side of the hallway.

"An attack?" she asked herself. "But who would possibly be attacking?"

Suddenly, a certain green-clad figure skidded around the corner.

Impa had a sinking feeling in her stomach.

Link sprinted straight towards her. As he attempted to run past, Impa grabbed him by the collar and held him up in front of her.

"Link," she asked resignedly, "what've you done this time?"

Link tried to force Impa to release him, but even his skills as the Hero were ineffective against her iron Sheikah grip. "Lemme go, Impa! I have to keep running!"

Impa stared at him suspiciously. "Why?"

Link continued to squirm and struggle. "Seriously, Impa, if you don't let me go I'll die!"

"Really?" Impa asked as she raised her eyebrow. "What could possibly be so important?"

Link stopped struggling. "Impa, I'm begging you!"

Suddenly, the most ominous sound in all of Hyrule drifted down the hallway.

"**BOCK bock bock bock BOCK bock bock bock BOCK bock bock bock...**"

Impa just looked at Link. "You didn't."

Link at least had the decency to look ashamed of himself. "I did."

The Cuckoo Swarm of Death rounded the corner. Upon sighting their prey, the swarm became even more agitated.

Impa knew there was only one course of action.

She ran as fast as she could down the hallway, still holding Link.

Somehow, she managed to glare at him as she ran. "I swear, Hero or not, if I end up having to pick up **any** of those feathers, I **will** toss you down the Kakariko well."

Link gulped. "Understood."

**A few days later...**

Impa was back at her desk once again filling out the paperwork needed to keep Link from being thrown into the Castle Town insane asylum.

She leaned back in her chair. As she did, she bumped against a nearby bookshelf.

Slowly, ever so slowly, gracefully twirling through the air, was a single, perfect cuckoo feather. Gently, it alighted upon the edge of Impa's inkpot. And somehow, whether through dumb luck or the goddesses being bored and playing a joke, that perfect cuckoo feather managed to tip the inkpot just enough for it to spill all over the pile of paperwork.

Impa stared.

And stared.

And kept staring.

She took a deep breath.

"**LLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNKKK!**"


	2. Bomb Arrows

**Hello people! I'm back! So yeah, although originally meant to be a oneshot, TGaL is now going to be a collection of oneshots!**

**And I will be taking requests by both review and PM!**

**HOWEVER, I reserve the right to not necessarily use every idea. That said, I probably will end up doing so.**

**Please enjoy! And send requests for what you want to see!**

**I don't own LoZ. You hear me, O Great and Glorious Defenders of Copyright?**

* * *

Zelda looked around a little anxiously. "Link, are you sure this is a good idea? Whatever 'this' is?"

Link grinned at her over his shoulder. "Of course! What could possibly go wrong?" He shifted the materials he held in his arms and proceeded into Zelda's favorite courtyard. Dumping them once he reached the center, the Hero picked up an object that suspiciously resembled an archery target.

"Where did you get that?" asked Zelda as she lifted an eyebrow.

"Oh, the Gerudo Fortress. They've got loads of targets in their archery range."

"Link! Did you steal it?!"

"Well... Maybe, but the Gerudo are thieves. If I had asked first, they would have lost their respect for me as the youngest card-carrying member of their tribe."

Zelda sighed and murmured, "Somehow I doubt that..."

Fortunately, Link was so wrapped up in setting up his equipment that he didn't hear. He marched over to the wall next to the throne room and placed his target right beneath the window.

"Link! Not there! If you're planning to fire at that target, what if you miss and hit the window?! My father will be quite angry with you. And don't forget Impa..."

At the Sheikah's name, Link froze. He still hadn't quite recovered from being thrown down the Kakariko well after the Cucco-Swarm-In-The-Castle incident.

Link swallowed. "M-Maybe you're right." He picked up the target and started to find a place on one of the other walls to place it.

Zelda sighed again. "What are we doing, anyway? What's this 'incredible discovery' of yours? Hopefully you don't think you invented archery."

Link turned around and stuck his tongue out at the young princess. "Very funny. But while I didn't invent archery, I DID invent... THIS!" Link jumped around and held a bag above his head. Some arrow fletching could be seen sticking out of the top.

The Princess of Hyrule scrunched up her face in confusion. "... Arrows? You invented... arrows? In a bag?"

The Hero was nonplussed. "No! Not bag arrows!" He reached up and tore an arrow out of the bag. Clumsily tied on where the head should be was a large, blue-black plant. With a huge grin, Link announced, "I present... BOMB ARROWS!"

For a moment, Zelda was completely speechless.

It was the single dumbest idea she'd heard Link come up with. Bombs? On an arrow? They'd probably detonate before the archer had time to correct for the added weight and release.

Of course, they could also be a huge tactical advantage in military strategy and in civilian activities such as mining and construction. Grudgingly, Zelda realized that being able to get a bomb farther than you could throw it yourself could be incredibly useful.

Shaking her head a little, Zelda said, "Okay, Link. Let's see how these bomb arrows do."

Link lit up like a light arrow. Grinning, he pulled his bow out of his pouch, nocked the bomb arrow, and drew back the string. As he did, the bomb began hissing and glowing in its warning countdown.

As he drew, Link realized just how much the bomb flower weighed down the arrow. He'd had the power bracelets on for so long that he'd kind of forgotten just how heavy they were. As he tried to line up his shot, the pulsating glow of the bomb became quicker and quicker. Link started to panic a little. _I've got to loose now, or else I'll get blown up!_

He released.

The bomb arrow shot through the air with a scream like a firework. It headed towards the target.

Suddenly, Zelda noticed that the trajectory was wrong and that Link had managed to place the target directly underneath the window in the art gallery without her noticing. In horror, the princess watched as the arrow curved in a perfect parabola straight into the window.

It crashed though the glass.

BOOM. The ground shook a little with the strength of the explosion.

Link stared at the window.

Zelda stared at him.

Far off, a voice could be heard yelling, "LIIIIIIIIIIIINK!"

Link paled. "Impa!" He dashed towards the courtyard's only exit in an attempt to escape and ran straight into the Sheikah warrior.

Impa stared down at him with her red eyes. "What. Happened."

Link tried to back away slowly as he said, "Uh... well... I... Uh, invented a new weapon and I was demonstrating its effectiveness for Princess Zelda since you and her are the only ones in the castle who take me seriously and I know you don't want me making weapons but I wanted to help out and maybe impress Zelda-" He clamped his hand over his mouth.

Impa lifted a deadly eyebrow. Link had no idea how an eyebrow could be deadly, but somehow it was. Slowly, she said, "I see."

"What is the meaning of this?!" an irritating voice shrieked. A steward could be seen through the window running around the art gallery in a panic. "IT'S RUINED! That artist original painting! The only one of its kind in the entire world! The 'Italian Plumber in Red'! Nooooooo!"

Impa had looked up at the commotion. Now, her laser-like gaze shot back to Link. "My office. Now."

Zelda ran up to Impa. "Please Impa! Link didn't mean to do that! It was an accident!"

Impa sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "I know that, Princess. But he and I are still going to have a chat. A private one."

* * *

Link knelt before Impa's desk. "O great and merciful Impa, I beg you! Please, please don't throw me down the well again! I'm too young to die!"

Impa leaned back in her seat and snorted. "Oh, come on Link. I'm not going to throw you down the well for this."

"You're... You're not?" Link questioned as he cautiously looked up.

"Nope. Now sit in your chair like a normal person." As Link obliged, Impa continued, "I'm actually not that mad at you for this. Personally, I can see how bomb arrows would be highly advantageous. The only part where you really messed up was testing them inside the castle. Next time, I ask you to go out into Hyrule Field."

Link's face lit up. "Thanks Impa! I'll do that! But..." the Hero bit his lip as he trailed off.

Impa lifted an eyebrow. "But?"

Link cocked his head. "Well, you could have said all of this in front of Zelda. So why did you say we had to have a 'private chat'?"

"Yes," Impa replied as she leaned onto her desk and rested her chin in her hands, "This is about that 'impressing Zelda' business."

Link gulped and froze. "Whaaaat? Impa, where'd you get a crazy idea like that? You must've hit your head earlier-"

"Link."

Judging from Impa's expression, Link realized it was time to shut up.

Impa sighed. "Don't forget, as the Sage of Shadow I remember the seven years that never were. And I remember that you were totally into Zelda."

Link looked away as a blush crept up his cheeks. "So what're you saying? That I shouldn't like her anymore 'cause we're kids? Or since we're back to being a princess and an unknown commoner?"

"Of course not."

Link looked up, not daring to hope.

Impa smiled at him. "Zelda also remembers. And she likes you as well. I just want to give you a nudge in the right direction. While your bomb arrows did impress her from a tactical standpoint, you need to impress her in a personal way.

Flowers are always a good. In fact, I saw some lovely blossoms just outside Castletown the other day."

A huge grin slowly spread across Link's face. "Thanks Impa!"

Once he was gone, Impa made sure she was alone, then allowed herself a very quiet, "Yessssssss!" with a fist pump.


	3. The Zora Incident (Part 1)

**Hello, people! First post of 2015! Yeah! Woohoo! Yeah...**

**...Yeah, I've been gone forever. Sorry! I'll try to write more often.**

**If you're still reading this fic, thank you! You're awesome! **

**So yeah.**

**As a kick-off to 2015 (on the first day of spring -_- whoops) I give you... A two-parter! Will post the second half as soon as I've finished it. This is a little less funny than usual, but it should get better in the second half. Enjoy!**

**With the readers as my witness, I swear to the Great and Powerful Enforcers of Copyright that I do not own LoZ!**

* * *

"But whyyyy, Impa?"

The Sheikah glared at her young charge. "Because you need to look presentable as a member of the royal delegation. Now hold still!"

"Never!"

"You asked for it, then."

A few seconds later, Link was tied to a chair while Impa tried to force his tousled hair into submission.

A few minutes later, Link shot out of his room, dressed in a beautiful green velvet tunic, white pants, and the shiniest, most uncomfortable boots he'd ever set eyes on. Except for the iron boots, maybe. His hair was flat against his head underneath the pointed green hat.

"FREEDOM!" he yelled as he ran from the hair-torturer. He made it three strides before Impa stopped him by grabbing the back of his collar. "So close..." he whispered.

Impa lifted an eyebrow. "Sorry, Link. As per the king's orders, you're not getting out of this one."

"I still don't see why I have to be there," Link pouted.

Impa let go of his tunic. "Because," she sighed, "you're the hero, even if most people don't know about the things you really did. People, including the Zora delegation, will expect you to be present. Also," Impa looked at him slyly, "Zelda will also be present and counting on your support."

Link's eye twitched. He sighed, then put on his "Stoic Hero Face", as Impa thought of it.

"I guess it'll be fine... as long as_ she_ isn't there," the young hero muttered beneath his breath.

Impa's eyebrows knitted together. "She? You don't want Zelda to be there?"

Link's eyes got huge. "Um... you weren't supposed to hear that. But no, not Zelda."

Impa lifted an interrogating eyebrow.

"I'm not going to talk about it. Let's just say it's someone I had an... unpleasant experience with in the past/future."

Impa's eyebrow remained raised, but she didn't press further. "We'd better get going. Altus will throw a fit if we're late. Not to mention the Zoras. King Zora doesn't like to wait on others." She began to walk towards the throne room.

"He sure makes others wait. Even when they're trying to help him," Link muttered.

"Especially then," agreed Impa.

* * *

Link and Impa soon reached the throne room.

"Thank goodness!" a courtier exclaimed. "I thought they'd never get here!"

Link rolled his eyes. Impa managed to look calm and like she wanted to strangle the woman simultaneously.

A servant quickly showed the duo to their respective positions in the delegation. King Altus and Zelda sat in the two thrones with the courtiers arranged around them and down the sides of the walkway. Impa took her slightly off to the side and behind the king while Link was instructed to do the same next to Zelda.

The princess turned to him with a small smile. "Glad you could make it, Link."

The hero blushed and looked away. "Yeah, well... I hope King Zora doesn't take forever getting here. I mean, why do we have to be so early if he's going to be late?"

Zelda smothered a giggle. "Indeed. But I'm glad he's visiting today."

Link looked at her, his expression disbelieving. "Really? Why?"

Zelda gave him a sweet smile. "Because I've never seen you dressed this finely before. To use the commoners' expression, you clean up good."

"Um... uh... Th-Thanks, Zelda." Link rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh... you... you look..."

Zelda looked at Link expectantly.

"Um... Like a princess?"

"Oh. Thank you," Zelda replied softly.

"No! I didn't mean it like that. I mean, you always look like a princess 'cause you are one, but... Argh! This is hard! I meant you look like a princess from the fairy tales. Y'know, like that legend about the spirit maiden."

Zelda brightened. "Oh! Thank you very much, Link!"

"Ahem."

The princess and the hero looked up to see the very disapproving face of King Altus Harkinian Hyrule.

"Oops! Sorry, Your Majesty," said Link.

Zelda stood up and curtsied to the king. "My apologies, Father."

Altus sat back a little. "Apologies accepted, children. I realize this is tedious for you, but do try to be less distracting. And have some decorum in front of the Zoras, please."

"Yes sir."

"Good." The king turned his attention back to the councilors and advisors vying for his attention.

"So," Link whispered to Zelda, "why are the Zoras coming again?"

"To renew their vows of loyalty to my father and discuss relations between their people and ours. Apparently, King Zora has something in particular he wishes to discuss, but no one knows what. He will only talk about it in person."

"Great."

A servant entered the hall and announced that the Zoras had arrived. The courtiers quickly arranged themselves and looked expectantly towards the entrance.

A few minutes later, the doors slowly opened. A Zora entered. "Announcing His Great and Glorious Majesty, King Zora, sixteenth of his name, Lord of the Domain, and Blessed of the Mighty Jabu-Jabu."

The large, fish-like king slowly walked into the room. Slowly, as in about four inches per step. Each step produced an annoying "weep" noise.

"Here we go," Link muttered.

As the king slowly made his way towards the thrones, the courtiers began to mutter. No retainers had yet followed him in.

"Did he come on his own?" one man whispered to another.

"How vulgar," a woman commented.

The Zora herald cleared his throat. "Announcing Her Bright and Brilliant Highness..."

"Oh no," Link whispered.

"Link? What is it?" Zelda glanced at the hero, and saw that he had gone pale.

"Attendant of the Mighty Jabu-Jabu, Bearer of the Zora Sapphire, and Sage of Water..."

"It's _her_," Link gasped.

The herald stepped to the side of the doorway. "Princess Ruto!"

A young Zora girl entered the throne room. She gazed haughtily at the assembled Hylians. King Zora had finally approached the throne, and Ruto swiftly moved to join him. Her every step fluid and graceful. After her walked several Zora, each as nearly as graceful as their princess.

As she neared the throne, Ruto performed a dancer's bow and joined her father before the Hylian king.

Altus stood. "I welcome you, Zora, King of the Zoras, and Ruto, Princess of the Zoras. May these days provide joy and unity between our lands."

King Zora acknowledged this with a nod of his large head. "Thank you Altus Harkinian Hyrule, King of the Hylians and Lord of the Zora and Gorons. May these days provide contentment and kinship between our lands."

Murmurs circulated around the room at this.

"What? What's so important?" Link whispered to Zelda.

"King Zora mentioned kinship," Zelda replied.

"Meaning?"

"Just watch."

Link looked up. Altus had just finished the welcoming words, and had apparently asked about the secret business King Zora wanted to talk about.

King Zora drew himself up as much as he could. "Altus Harkinian, my daughter has had a vision.

"She has been blessed by Jabu-Jabu as the Sage of Water, and through this tie she has foreseen great disaster for the Zora people. There is but one way to avert this prophecy."

"What is that way?" Altus asked cautiously.

Ruto stepped forward. "To avert catastrophe, I must be engaged to a certain Hylian immediately."

Altus' eyes narrowed. "Who?"

The Zora princess smirked and stared at Zelda.

_Why is she looking at me?_ Zelda thought in confusion.

"The hero of Hyrule, of course. Link of the Kokiri."

"EXCUSE ME?"

Everyone, especially Link, stared at the now-standing princess of Hyrule.


	4. The Zora Incident (Part 2)

**So... Not dead.**

**I don't own LoZ.**

* * *

"EXCUSE ME?" Zelda raged.

Ruto smirked. "Excuse me? I think you mean 'excuse _you_'. How dare you address my royal personage that way? Not to mention that of my father." She sighed and examined her nails. "Honestly. What is Hyrule coming to?"

Zelda nearly turned purple. "You DARE to barge in here and demand we just hand over Link on a platter to you-"

"Princess Zelda!" Altus snapped.

A not-so-subtle "Oooooooh!" rose from the Zora delegation.

The king of Hyrule loomed over Zelda. "You bring shame to our kingdom. Apologize to Her Highness."

"B-But..."

"Now!"

Zelda turned, shaking and trying to suppress an outburst. Stiffly, she curtsied. "I... I apologize for my rude behavior to the Zora Delegation. However," she looked up, eyes seething, "I do not withdraw my words to 'Her Bright and Brilliant Highness'. She has disgraced the seven sages with her _lies_-"

"Gasp! How dare you accuse the Attendant of the Mighty Jabu-Jabu of falsehood!" exclaimed the Zora herald.

The other Zora retainers collectively exclaimed, "Gasp!"

Altus did not look at her. "Zelda."

Zelda felt her anger transmute into fear at her father's tone.

"You have disgraced our family and our entire kingdom. Go to your room."

Zelda hesitated.

"NOW!"

No one dared to blink as the echoes of the king's voice faded.

Zelda left without a word. She walked as quickly as she could, all the time keeping her face perfectly smooth. As soon as she closed the door to her room, she ran to her bed and let the tears come. Anger, hurt, and humiliation fought for dominance in her heart.

There was a slight creak from the door. Zelda tried to pull herself together to deal with whoever it was until she felt gentle arms around her. She looked up into Impa's face and immediately burst into tears once more.

"Shh... Let it out," Impa whispered as she stroked Zelda's hair.

Once Zelda had calmed somewhat, she shifted so she could look at Impa properly. "He... He's never actually yelled at me before," she sniffed, "Especially not in public."

Impa's brow creased. "I know, Zelda. I know."

"I mean, I realize I wasn't being proper but Ruto- She can't- She can't just waltz in and- and take whatever-whoever-she wants," Zelda hiccuped. "And she lied to do it!"

"Indeed," stated Impa as she sank back into her usual stoic posture. "I'm glad you realize you weren't dealing with this properly. Although, personally I thought the little fish had it coming. And using her position for what is, to us at least, such a transparently selfish act demands a response."

"Wait! Where's... Where's Link? Is he... Did the Zoras take him?"

Impa became even more straight-faced, if that was possible. "Shortly after your departure, a smoke bomb seems to have gone off in the throne room. While everyone was evacuating, I may have smuggled him to your door. I told him to stand guard while you composed yourself."

Zelda let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you. Well, he should probably come in now. I wouldn't want Her Bright and Brilliant Highness to stumble upon him."

* * *

"Thank goodness! I kept thinking Ruto was about to walk around the corner!" Link said as he sank into one of Zelda's chairs.

"Well, she didn't," Impa stated. "We need to make a plan. Ruto must be dealt with, firstly for you two's sanity. Secondly, she must learn that she can't throw around fake portents and prophecies. Thirdly, no one messes with my ship! However, we must accomplish all of this without causing a more significant political incident than this fiasco has already turned out to be. Ideas?"

Link raised an eyebrow at Impa. "What do you mean, she messed with your ship? I didn't even know you were into sailing."

Impa raised an eyebrow in return. "Sheikah training covers many arts. I repeat, ideas?"

"Well..." Link mused, "We could... convince the Zoras I'm insane! Then I wouldn't be fit to be Ruto's... what's the word?"

"At this point, fiancee. Later, royal consort." Impa supplied.

"That." Link replied.

"That doesn't sound too hard," Zelda commented.

"I know, right... Hey!"

Impa shook her head. "Overruled."

Link whipped his head to Impa. "But whyyyy?"

Impa crossed her arms. "Because it's highly likely this course of action would result in the Cucco-pocalypse and the end of Hyrule as we know it."

"Oh." Link rubbed his chin in an attempt to think of another solution.

Zelda spoke up. "We could invoke the powers of ultimate rule-keeping, persistent instruction, and extreme boredom upon her."

"Yeah!" Link jumped up. "That's perfect! He's even got more authority than your father when it comes to sage-y stuff!"

Impa re-raised an eyebrow. "What in Hyrule are you two talking about?"

"Rauru! We sic Rauru on her!" Link exclaimed.

"That's... That's actually not a bad idea," Impa mused. "Okay then. I'll inform him of the current situation and bring him here. No matter how slow he tries to be about it. However, we need to keep Ruto busy until he gets here."

"i'll do that," Zelda said.

"You sure that's a good idea, Zelda?" asked Link. "I mean, you're not exactly on the best terms right now..."

"Well..." Zelda looked at her lap, then looked up at Link. "Link, you know her better than Impa or I. Is Ruto the kind of person who would intentionally destroy someone else's happiness for her own desires?"

"Um..." Link thought for a bit. "No, she isn't. Not really. She's really spoiled, but underneath she's a kind person."

"Then I'm sure. Link, would you please ask her to come here? Tell her I wish to apologize and ask for her forgiveness."

Link traded looks with Impa, then looked back at Zelda. "Um... Okay then. As long as you're sure you'll be okay. I'll be right back with her."

"Actually, Link," Zelda said, "I'd prefer if you weren't there for our conversation. Please."

Link looked unsure, but replied, "As you wish, Princess."

Once Link had departed, Impa raised an eyebrow at Zelda. "I really hope you know what you're doing."

"So do I," Zelda sighed and ran her hands down her face.


	5. The Zora Incident (Part 3)

**And believe me I am still alive.**

**Still alive.**

**Still alive.**

**I don't own LoZ or Portal.**

**And I can't believe this turned into 3 chapters, but here it is.**

* * *

"So... Linky-poo said you wanted to apologize and beg for my forgiveness?"

Zelda gritted her teeth. This was already so much harder than she'd thought it would be. "Linky...poo?"

Ruto grinned at Zelda from her place on Zelda's bed. "Well, since we just need to work out the dull details and boring legal stuff of the engagement, I thought me and my Hero-bear should start getting closer. Pet names are just the best! I mean, even though the marriage wont be for _years_ it doesn't mean we shouldn't be close."

Zelda pasted on a smile. "Uh huh."

"So enough about me and my Linkle-winkle. Let's hear this apology of yours." Ruto said as she shifted into a more comfortable position.

Zelda took a deep breath, then said, "Ruto-"

"Ah ah ah! That's Your Highness to you unless I grant you my forgiveness."

Pushing down images of slapping the self-satisfied smile right off of Ruto's face, Zelda continued, "Your Highness, I am truly sorry for what I said to you earlier and how I addressed you. It was immature of me. Please, forgive me."

"Hmm..." Ruto hummed. "Well, I was hoping for a bit more groveling. Still, you seem sincere enough. I accept your apology and forgive you. You may once more address me by my name."

"The honor is all mine," Zelda replied dryly. "Ruto, I have a request."

"Oh?" Ruto sat up from her lounging position. "What is it, Zelda?"

Before Zelda could reply, she continued, "Oh! I know! Yes, of course I'll let you be in my wedding party!"

"Er, thank you, but that wasn't what I was going to ask."

Ruto cocked her head. "Oh. Well, what is it then?"

Zelda clamped her eyelids together. "Please. Please don't take Link away."

"Okay."

"Wait, really?" Zelda's eyes snapped open.

Ruto laughed. "Well duh. Linky-poo will still live here until our marriage, of course."

"That's... That's not what I meant."

"Oh." Ruto turned and looked out the window. "Zelda, you need to learn to just get to the point. Otherwise no one will ever get what you're talking about."

"Please don't marry Link."

Ruto turned back with a confused look. "Why? It's not like he's taken or anything."

"I..." Zelda nearly bit her tongue before she forced out, "I'm in love with him."

Ruto stared at Zelda.

Zelda did her best to stare back.

"Since when?" Ruto asked testily. "'Cause I'm not giving up if you're just jealous of what me and Link-a-loo have and feel lonely. In fact, I could probably set you up with someone if that's what-"

Zelda shook her head. "No! That's not what I want. I... I've liked him since... since I met him, I suppose. Then there was the seven years that never were, and it just kind of... developed over that time and ever since. It's more than just attraction. I can't help loving everything about him, even the stuff I think is dumb and exasperating. I mean this one time, he blew up the art gallery and I... Ruto, are you okay?"

Ruto's head hung low over her sagging shoulders. "I didn't realize," Ruto said quietly. She got off the bed and walked over to the window. "You know, Zelda... Link's the nicest guy I've ever met. All of the cute Zoras are only into my position. So, I thought why not save myself from an unhappy, loveless marriage and marry someone who I know knows the real me and cares. I didn't realize he'd already met someone... I thought... I thought, we could learn to love each other, you know," Ruto sniffed. "I... I didn't mean to get in anyone's way. I just... wanted to be happy." She laughed harshly.

Zelda moved to the window and tentatively placed a hand on the Zora princess's shoulder. "I'm sorry, Ruto. But I think you'll find the person meant for you one day. We have years ahead of us."

Ruto sighed. "Thanks, Zelda, but a Zora princess almost never gets to marry for love. It's always about political alliances and balancing power. That's why I used my status as the Sage of Water-"

"Um, about that..."

* * *

"Rauru," acknowledged Altus Harkininan. "Always a... pleasure. In fact, I believe this is the first time I have seen you outside the Temple of Time. What brings you here, dear friend?" He asked with a smile that threatened to shatter his teeth.

"Majesty," Rauru rumbled, "I have heard of the Zoras' request. And of the reason they have requested it."

The king pinched the bridge of his nose. "...And?"

"There is no impending calamity."

"Gasp! How dare you besmirch Her Bright and Brilliant Highness!" exclaimed the Zora herald.

Rauru held up a hand to silence any ensuing exclamations of "Gasp!". "I have personally read the portents and conferred with the elusive Sage of Shadow, whose identity I shall not declare for security purposes. There are no portents of disaster, let alone anything dooming the Zora should the young Hero not agree to marry the Zora princess. I do not," Rauru continued with a glare at the herald, who had been about to protest, "accuse the young Sage of Water of lying. I accuse her of inexperience. After all, she is quite young indeed to be both a Sage and an Attendant of the Mighty Jabu-Jabu, in addition to her responsibilities as Heir to the Domain."

Altus inclined his head. "I concede that she has much responsibility. What do you want?"

Rauru nodded. "I was just getting to that, Majesty. I wish her to apologize to her people and vow to endeavor to better herself so that they may thereby be bettered."

"That sounds fine to me," Altus said rather quickly. "King Zora, Princess Ruto, what do you say?"

King Zora slowly began to nod.

Ruto solemnly nodded as well.

"Excellent! We shall feast tonight and send off the Zora delegation on the morrow-"

"To that end," Rauru continued, as he was apparently not done already, "I propose that the princess be apprenticed to me, so that she may learn the significance of being a Sage as well as the correct way to do things. Does my lord, King Zora, agree to this?"

King Zora finished his nod.

"WHAT!" exclaimed Ruto.

Rauru bowed. "Very well. The princess will need to stay in the Temple of Time for the duration of her training. I look forward to beginning the training once her people set off tomorrow."

"WHAT?!" exclaimed Ruto.

Rauru bowed low, then turned to leave the throne room. He paused, then asked, "Would you like me to repeat any of that?"

"NO!" Resounded from all sides.


End file.
